Happily Ever After
Life in The Rural Retreat with a beautiful wife, three cats, garden wildlife, a camera, a computer – and increasing amounts about running
Earlier posts can be found on Adventures of a Lone Bass Player, where this blog began life. Recent entries can be found here.
Virtual London Marathon 2026
by Russell Turner - 16:49 on 25 April 2026
So much for that plan. I’d hoped that a virtual marathon split into chunks, with recovery time between them, would leave me glowing at its end rather than knackered and reluctant to even contemplate another 26.2-mile effort. I should have known better – it’s still a marathon, and lack of proper training won’t have helped, with two half marathon runs the longest distance I’ve amassed this year.
That said, I completed the run in 5:19, which sounds pretty good until 1:40 driving time is added, plus a further 1:37ish between chunks for eating, drinking and general faffing. Well over eight hours on the move is a long day out.
The day began well, just 30mins later than my planned start time, with sunshine, light breeze and only 8ºC – perfect. I set my start line at the top of the road outside The Rural Retreat so I could walk there and not spoil my estimated 5:10 finish time by running uphill from the very start (ho ho), especially as there was a bigger hill past the first of my 26-letter route: Henrietta Park. That demanded a walk but from there I continued with the planned 5:1 run/walk through Balblair, Inverbreakie, Kirkmichael, Newhall Xroads (I had to stretch a point for that one) and back to Newhall. Six miles done in 1:07, slightly ahead of schedule.
At the Retreat I loaded Big Blue with a bag of energy bars, Tailwind bottles and other necessities and a second bag of towel and running tops. I’d begun in long sleeves and stuck with that despite an increase in temperature.
A short drive took me to the RSPB Udale Bay hide’s parking place for an out and back including Jemimaville and the dinky Poyntzfield Post Office. The sun still shone on spectacular Black Isle scenery, I maintained my pace, and thanks to a slight miscalculation a further 3.5 miles was ticked off. All was well, although the temperature continued to rise.
Next stop was Cromarty, also home of Victoria Hall and Sutor Creek, for what was now a 2.5-mile out and back. Pace was still steady – this was going to be easy, I thought, and continued to do so after the next stop, at Davidston, for the first single mile run, and the only place the whole day where I had to step off the admittedly very narrow road, to make way for two tractors and trailers.
Thirteen miles done, in 2:24 – nine minutes ahead of schedule, which should have warned me what was coming.
Next stop was Learnie Red Rocks, an off-road cycling spot with a handy car park which contained a couple of campervans and Matchgirl’s Mini, for she’d chosen to join me and give support for the second half of the marathon despite fearing she’d hold me back. As if.
The temperature was now around 16ºC – time to change into a short-sleeved shirt, top up the sunscreen, eat an energy bar, drink some water, tell her how the day had gone so far, then set out on a two-mile out and back in the general direction of the Black Isle Yurts road sign (I was desperate for a Y). That would have taken us on to the Eathie road except for a wrong turn, my navigation on the first trail section of the marathon being lacking. At least we could turn around after one mile. The trail also meant lots more undulation than I’d encountered in the first 13 miles. My pace plummeted and stayed that way for the second half marathon.
We left the Mini in the car park and drove to Avoch, from where the three-mile out and back began at the letter Q (Gaelic for Quert, part of the Black Isle Mosaic Trail and the only Q I could find) and ran along the shore road toward Ormond Hill (not my O) past the Avoch Skiffties clubhouse outside which were their skiffs: Zulu and Zephyr. Very handy. My plan back at Q had been a run and back to Avoch Community Centre but after a brief effort I cut it short at 2.5 miles. Now 17.5 miles in, the effort was telling.
From there we drove to Tore for a single-mile run where I knew we could make up the difference, although the slight return incline was beginning to feel like a real hill. Nevertheless, 19 miles done, only seven to go. Matchgirl seemed to be enjoying herself despite my occasional grumbles.
Further down the road we stopped at Glachbeg Croft for a run to Wood End (home of Munlochy Animal Aid) and back. That was less than two miles; I’d intended to make the difference with a run in the other direction but was dissuaded by the undulation not shown on Google Maps, which had the road as dead flat. But we’d passed 20 miles with only a 10k to go. How hard could it be?
Maybe another trail mile, around Ord Hill, was a mistake – even the ‘easy’ route included lots of undulation – but we slogged through it and delayed adding the missing half mile until our next stop, at Munlochy, where a quiet side road allowed us to reach 23 miles. Quiet, that is, apart from the wind which had appeared from nowhere. The sun still shone but the wind was cool. We were glad to get back to the car and head for Fortrose and the final 3.2 miles.
We exited the car to discover that we’d not escaped the wind. I donned a fresh long-sleeved top and we walked from the cathedral car park to the High Street from where we ran into the wind along the road to Rosemarkie. Not fun. Some shelter was found in the village where we turned to take the parallel shore road back to Fortrose, much to the amusement of drinkers outside the Plough, who offered predictable encouragement. At least they didn’t throw bottles or beer.
Two miles to go: past the campsite, the wind still fresh, to the golf club. One mile to go: more walking than running through the Fortrose suburbs, another campsite, past Fortrose Academy to reach Eilean Dubh care home, the last of the 26 letters. The finish line was crossed 0.2 miles later back on the High Street, opposite the Co-op. Very picturesque.
From there it was a brief walk to the car, where I added a hoodie to my top – the wind still blew and shivering was beginning – a brief drive to Learnie to collect Matchgirl’s Mini, then another brief drive back home where a shower helped warm me up. I’d been looking forward to a Chinese takeaway to celebrate my 18th marathon/ultra but my appetite was non-existent; I could manage only half of the fish and chips Matchgirl very decently went out to collect. (They were still fine next day, I’m happy to report.) Cramp and almost-cramp attacked my legs for two hours before I managed to sleep. Matchgirl prescribes salt tablets to counteract my sweating, which she says is excessive, and may contribute to second half struggles. She’s probably right.
I currently have no desire to enter next year’s London ballot or attempt a marathon ever again. But I said that last year. Matchgirl, on the other hand, was so enthused by her 13 miles that she’s decided to come out of race retirement for one last big race. This year’s Loch Ness Marathon was her target, until she discovered that it’s already sold out. So now it’s in her diary for 2027, and she’s keen for me to join her. We’ll see.
PS: Anyone thinking of following this plan, beware. As the day goes on, getting into (especially) and out of the car is an increasing challenge!
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